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Meeting the BFG
(The giant arrives at his cave, moves the big round stone entrance out the way, goes in, turns on a light, puts Sophie and the animals down on the table, yawns, stretches and walks over to the table.) * Giant: Now then, what has us got here, hmm? I is hungry. * Sophie: Oh please no! * Giant: What? * Sophie: Please don't eat us. * Giant: I spots what you is all thinking. Because I is a giant, you thinks I is going to guzzle you up and crunch your bones. You is excunkly right, giants is cannabilistic and murderous. They is guzzling up human beans every night for supper and snacks. * Snagglepuss: You don't want to eat us. We're skin and bones. * Giant: Bonecrunching giant, he like Turkey best. * Sophie: Oh, Turkey. That's not a human bean. That's a bird. * Giant: Oh no. Bonecruncher is not eating Turkey. He's scimping off to Turkey every night to eat Turks. (sniffs) With a special flavour. * Sophie: What flavour? Turkey? * Giant: No. Turks from Turkey, is tasting of Turkish delight. What do you think human beans from Brazil taste of? * Sophie: Mmm. Coffee? * Giant: Wrong. They taste of Brazil nuts. What about Sweden? * Sophie: Oh, that's easy. Swedes. * Giant: Swedes! (laughs) No! * Sophie: Turnips? * Giant: Wrong! They taste of Brazil nuts. Panama! * Sophie: I don't know. * Giant: Human beans from Panama, is tasting strongly of hats. * Sophie: Alright then. What sort of flavour are we going to be when you eat me and those six cats, that horse, that donkey, those dogs, that mountain lion, that alligator, that gorilla, that hippo, that squid, that ant, that duckling and those two bears? * Giant: What, me? Gobbling up human beans and talking animals? All the others yes, but not me. I is a nice giant. I is a freaky giant. There's not another giant like me in all of Giant Country. I is the Big Friendly Giant. The BFG. That's me. Does you have a name? * Sophie: Yes. My name's Sophie. * Big Friendly Giant: Sophie? How about you. Does the rest of you have any names? * Yogi Bear: Well now that you've mentioned it, we do. I am Yogi, and this is Boo-Boo. * Huckleberry Hound: I'm Huckleberry Hound. And this is Quick Draw McGraw, and his sidekick Baba Looey, and Snagglepuss. * Quick Draw McGraw: Howdy. * Baba Looey: We are thrilled to see you. * Huckleberry Hound: And that there is Augie Doggie and his dear old dad. * Augie Doggie: My dear old dad and I are pleased to meet you. * Doggie Daddy: That's my boy who said that. * Magilla Gorilla: Magilla Gorilla's the name. * Wally Gator: I am Wally Gator. * Peter Potamus: I'm Peter Potamus. * Squiddly Diddly: Squiddly Diddly here. * Atom Ant: I'm Atom Ant. * Yakky Doodle: I'm Yakky Doodle. * Top Cat: Name's Top Cat. But you can call me TC. Sorry I called you ugly back then. * Benny the Ball: And we're his gang. My name's Benny the Ball. * Choo-Choo: I'm Choo-Choo, but I am often called Chooch. * Spook: Like, my name's Spook. * Fancy: I'm Fancy. * Brain: And I'm the Brain. * Big Friendly Giant: Yogi, Boo-Boo, Huckleberry, Quick Draw McGraw, Baba Looey, Snagglepuss, Augie Doggie, Doggie Daddy, Magilla Gorilla, Wally Gator, Peter Potamus, Squiddly Diddly, Atom Ant, Yakky Doddle, Top Cat, Benny the Ball, Choo-Choo, Spook, Fancy and Brain. Well now, is you wanting some supper, everybody? * Sophie: You're really not going to eat us? * Big Friendly Giant: Of course I is not eating you. I is eating snozzcumber. Does you want some? * Sophie: What's it tastes like? * Big Friendly Giant: Well it's sickable. It tastes of slimewanglers and cockroaches. * Sophie: Do we really have to eat it? * Big Friendly Giant: Well yes, unless you all wants to be nothing but skin and grones. * Sophie: Don't you mean skin and bones? * Big Friendly Giant: What I means and what I says, is two different things. I'll give you just a snipsy bit. * (Sophie licks the snozzcumber) * Spook: Yuck! * Sophie: It's like frogskin and rotten fish! * Big Friendly Giant: It's foulsome, isn't it? * Sophie: Couldn't you get some other food? You could pick carrots and cauliflowers just round our village. And apples. * Big Friendly Giant: Never! * Top Cat: Why not? * Big Friendly Giant: I is a very honourable giant. I does not go snitching things. * Sophie: You snatched me. * Yogi Bear: And you snatched us, when we were trying to stop you snitching her. * Big Friendly Giant: Yes. And now I can't help thinking about your poor mother and father. And I snitched the rest of you, because I wanted some friends. * Sophie: I don't have a mother or father. They both died when I was a baby. * Big Friendly Giant: You is a norphan? * Sophie: Yes, that's where you took me from. That was the orphanage. * Big Friendly Giant: Norphanages are nice and jumbly places, eh? * Sophie: All except ours. Even if you do the slightest thing wrong, Mrs. Clonkers gives you punishments. * Big Friendly Giant: How punishments? * Sophie: Well, if you don't fold your clothers properly or something, she locks you in the cellar. * Big Friendly Giant: Rotten old rutrasper. * Sophie: She leaves us in the dark. There are great big rats down there, and you get really frightened. * Huckleberry Hound: You poor little girl. * Yogi Bear: And I feel sorry about your parents' death, Sophie. * Sophie: Thanks guys. I really appreciate about you guys feeling sorry for me. * Big Friendly Giant: I'm afraid the giants will swallow you up, if they catch one little glimpse of you. And it's all my fault.